Tales of the Parodyverse

Post By

killer shrike
Sun Feb 25, 2007 at 01:02:38 pm EST
Subject
Guess Who's Coming to Dinner? Part One
[New] [Email] [Print] [RSS] [Tales of the Parodyverse]
 		Next In Thread >>

Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner? Part One




“Dad?” Katarina Allen said when she answered her cell phone, “Is everything all right?”

“Everything’s fine, Kitten,” Master Sergeant (U.S. Army, Ret) William Allen said, “I’m just calling to let you know I’m going to be in your neck of the woods soon.”

Despite her father’s placations, Kat had her doubts. The man was as unlikely to make a spontaneous visit to the “Left Coast” as he was to make a long distance phone call in three in the afternoon, “What’s going on, Dad?”

“They called me up, honey. I’m reporting to Fort Hama for assignment as of 0600 hours Monday.”

“The Army?! You’re back in the Army? But you retired.”

“I know, but given the circumstances, they need me.”

Bill Allen didn’t elaborate. His daughter was aware of the massive casualties America’s military suffered during the most recent battle of the Parody War. There was no sense bringing up subjects that would only worry her.

The trim blonde fell back onto the stool for the spinning wheel in the back of her hand-dyed cloth shop, “What did Mom say about this?”

There was a pause, “You’re mother isn’t taking this well. She worries. But that’s just another reason why I need you to be strong, to help her through this. You can do that, can’t you, Kitten?”

“Of course, Dad,” Katarina Allen replied as her thoughts raced through the daunting number of consequences this news could have on her life and the lives of those she loved, “Do you need me to do anything?”

“Call your mother when you can. Talk to her. And, of course, I do want to see you before my hitch starts up. The plane to Paradopolis arrives Sunday at 1545 hours. You and I can meet for dinner. My treat.”

“How about I cook? Some nice beef brisket, gravy, smothered potatoes-”

“Shoot, I was hoping to try some of that big city nouvelle cuisine I heard so much about,” Bill Allen teased, “Brisket sounds fine. Looking forward to it. And looking forward to meeting your gentleman friend there… Dominic, was it? You are still seeing him, aren’t you?”

Katarina nodded despite herself, wondering how circumstances would affect this meeting between two of the most important people in her life, “Dominic. Yes. He can be there, if you want.”

“Of course I do. It’s long past time he and I meet, don’t you think? We have a lot to talk about.”

The pretty young weaver was sure they did. Her concern was wasn’t with the talking, which both men could do well. It was the listening part of the conversation that worried her.

*****


The house’s cellar had been dug and the foundation’s concrete poured. What came next was the laying down of the floor framework. Seven figures were hard at work setting the sill plate’s joists at the center beam. Kat was wondering where the eighth member of the work crew was when she almost ran over the answer.

“Miss Allen! Miss- Aiiieee!!!” Goofus Dwarf came bolting out of one of the trailers that sat adjacent to the site and ran headlong into the path of the woman’s car. He covered his face with and trembled in fear of the impact. Fortunately for him the Blazer had anti-lock brakes.

“Goofus,” Katarina said patiently as she climbed from the car, “Remember what we said: no exiting, entering, or approaching a vehicle until it comes to a full stop.”

The dwarf removed his trucker hat and held it apologetically, “Sorry, Miss. It’s just that it’s so good to see you.”

Kat smiled at the somewhat smaller man (dwarves, it seemed, grew big in the Mythlands), “Good to see you too. How goes things.”

“Good, good,” he nodded, “Well… could be better.”

“How so?” Kat asked as she waved to her boyfriend, who had taken a break from construction and was ambling over to join them.

“It’s Mister Clancy, Miss. He means well, I know, and he works hard…. but,” his voice dropped to a whisper, “He’s not very good at it.”

“Really?”

“Yes. It’s nothing he can help, really: Mister Clancy’s overfingered,” Goofus waggled his own four digits in demonstration, “And… he’s slowing us down.”

“I see,” the trim blonde lowered her voice to a conspiratorial octave, “Would it help if I took him off your hands?”

The dwarf’s emerald colored eyes flashed with relief, “Oh, could you, Miss? It would be a big help to us.”

“Consider it done,” she vowed as she stepped forward to intercept the approaching Dominic, “Hey you.”

“Hello,” there was an embrace and a kiss, then Dominic looked over to their spectator.

“Uh, yes,” Goofus tugged his ear nervously, “Well, nice talking to you, Miss Allen. Um, Mister Clancy, feel free to take a break. A long one would be good,” he said before retreating to the building site.

“Overfingered?” Dominic said incredulously, “What does that mean?”

“That you have your hands full?” Kat quipped as she picked some splinters out of her lover’s hair, “Anyway, as you heard, I’ve been asked to take you away from here.”

“Hmph: I’m slowing them down. Who’s the one with super-speed again?” the Paragon of Power muttered grumpily. But he accepted the keys Kat dropped into his dreadfully malformed hand, “It’s for the best that I leave anyway; one more slur from Reactionary and I would have drop kicked him to Gothametropolis.”

“What’s his problem?”

“He thinks it’s morally repugnant for the two of us to live ‘happily ever after’ without me embarking on a quest of some type to ‘win your love.’”

The statement bothered the young weaver more than one level, but she concealed it with a joke, “You told him about how you beat up an entire planet to rescue me from a race of alien gods?”

“Graphically,” Dominic replied, “But apparently if the quest doesn’t involve a dragon or a witch’s curse its as worthless as a ‘troll’s handkerchief.’ What that means I have no idea.”

“Maybe trolls don’t have noses,” Kat offered as they walked to the truck, “Anyway, you shouldn’t let what Reactionary says bother you. Or what anyone says bother you”

“His values are a bit old fashioned, and coming from me that’s saying something,” the big man agreed.

“Yeah. Speaking of which, my dad has been drafted and he’s being stationed in Paradopolis. He’s flying into town and he wants to meet you for dinner. Is that OK?”

The Legionnaire was surprised at the news, and concerned at the method Kat used to express it. Internally scolding himself for not recognizing the fact the young woman was upset earlier, he answered, “Of course. Whatever you want or need, I’ll do.”

“Thank you,” Kat said softly as Dominic wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders, “There is a lot to do. I made a list.”

“Let’s see it.”

Kat withdrew a piece of paper from her pocket and unfolded it. The Man of Might noticed there was writing on both sides.

It looked like his super-speed was going to come in handy after all.

To Be Continued

Footnotes:

Master Sergeant William “Bill” Allen: is a retired member of the United States Army. He lives in Shreveport, Louisiana with his wife Gail. His only other appearance was in the fine Dancer story found here:

http://www.mangacool.com/php/show.php?rpy=parodyverse-20060625024217

Canny, Prurient, Enabling, Goofus, Reactionary, Contentious, and Maudlin Dwarf: were refugees from the Mythlands who were captured by an INS sting on suspected illegal immigrants. Mr. Epitome has helped them apply for political asylum and in return, they are helping him build a house for himself, Glory, and Kat. The dwarves’ story can be found here.

http://www.mangacool.com/php/show.php?msg=parodyverse-20060615044557

http://www.mangacool.com/php/show.php?msg=parodyverse-20060714013902







Posted from U.S. Company
using Microsoft Internet Explorer 6/Windows XP
[New] [Email] [Print] [RSS] [Tales of the Parodyverse]
Follow-Ups:

Echo™ v3.0 beta © 2003-2006 Powermad Software
Copyright © 2004-2006 by Mangacool Adventure